Concurrently, elderly people individuals create Barcelona girls for marriage plan for the two to help you sleep-in one household to have per night. When they see that nothing took place on account of fear from the boy, the fresh earlier dudes, using his buddy, carry out organize briefing instructions to inform brand new boy whom the fresh lady is indeed he would be to don’t be afraid from girls and you may feminine. There clearly was a common religion that women “bite” among the childhood, without you to definitely dares to express reverse views. Due to this belief, boys and you may girls don’t hurry to the marriage and you will, thus, they often marry within age 31 otherwise 35.
The boy narrates so you’re able to their bro all the emails of your girl he has got appreciated and want to out of no less than just about three, spanning the students guy, his brother, plus one cousin however his moms and dads, visits the girl’s family with the intention that these corners learn for each and every most other well
Further, moms and dads and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (who owns the youngsters) will always be desperate to enjoys their boy otherwise girl select a good compatible marriage spouse. Even though some of these practices are diminishing, it still form the main youth’s way to bringing ong this new Chewa.
Among the Chewa , when men proposes relationship in order to an effective girl, this is not apparent that they will marry instantaneously. There can be a process that concerns uncles, aunties, parents, chiefs, or other important people in the city. ” Even after becoming in search of the guy, your lover will not say “yes” on basic suggestion from the guy. The man should validate his standing several times through to the girl nods to your proposition. So far, some men surrender thought brand new girl is not wanting all of them.
According to Chewa community, it is wrong into girl to simply accept a wedding suggestion at first experience of a man. The fresh new girl has to decelerate acceptance to make certain that she actually is seen once the “good,” not eager, maybe not simple, and you may someone guys is battle to possess.
Recognizing new proposition in the first contact with the guy try a sign of tiredness on girl. They indicators she is “low priced.” On the other hand, if for example the man battles back again to victory the new girl just after good decrease into the accepting a proposition, they signals an effective wedding. Additionally suggests that the man was resilient and strong enough. Next, it assurances you to though they face demands in marriage, each other could well be sufficiently strong to manage issues.
In the beginning, when the guy matches the new girl, the person states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Lady, I love your, and you can waiting to marry you
This step is named “kufunsira mbeta,” definition relationships suggestion . In the event that girl eventually welcomes, the man gives the girl chikole ( anything bodily that woman otherwise men can show anybody else one to the woman is engaged). Common products put because the chikole were mikanda (jewelry) , content feminine constantly use to link more its thoughts, or any other issue anything. Supplying the lady chikole implies that the man are seriously interested in marrying the fresh girl and you will inhibits new girl out-of are contacted from the other men for marriage proposals. When a new man approache your lover, she suggests the brand new chikole so you can cut-off your regarding continuous his enhances.
As girl allows brand new suggestion, she recommends the man to inform their particular brother about this. As mentioned prior to, among the many Chewa, new uncle is regarded as mwini mbumba (manager of your college students about clan). In the event the man organizes to check out the sibling of your girl, he will not wade by yourself. In the beginning, he has to inform his sibling in regards to the girl he has got suggested matrimony in order to. When they reach the new girl’s cousin, her sibling may also not alone – he is usually inserted by the most other relatives of one’s girl however, maybe not her parents. So when this new boy’s people happens, they do conversations entitled malonje (introductions and you will welcoming statements).
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